Wanted: One Work Mistress Tom Whittaker

As many of you know, Becki Dilworth is my work wife.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term work wife, here is the definition of work spouse I found in Wikipedia:

A work spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one’s actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to understand the nuances of the workplace. While it is not unusual for the relationship to contain elements of flirtation, this relationship can be threatened rather than enhanced if it becomes sexual.

Now as some of you know, Becki is expecting her second child and will be out of the office for about six weeks around late August.  I do not know what I will do without Becki, since we share an office and she keeps me sane.  I do not want a new work wife, so I figured I would instead seek a work mistress to fill in for Becki while she is out.  Here is my ad:

Wanted: One Work Mistress

Vice President, 36, works at Indigio, is seeking a work mistress to share office and keep me sane. The current resident, a very nice woman, is taking maternity leave in August.

The new resident must be reasonably quiet, tidy and must not blast any music as I like to be the office DJ, playing my iPod on shuffle. Must like random songs from the 80’s, dance music, one-hit wonders, Madonna, and songs that most people are embarrassed to sing-along.

Office is bright, with a nice large desk with side-return. The desk chair is comfortable and provides good back support. The office is clean and features several plants for a nice overall atmosphere. Office is located close to the lobby, with close access to the elevators or restroom. Office is located in close proximity to lounge and kitchen. A copier room is in walking distance. Location, location, location.

No freaky-deaky weirdo people, no grumps, no people who talk to themselves, hum or other strange habits. Must be supportive, kind, giving and willing to go away without question in October when work wife returns.

What do you think? Sound good? I personally think I make a great office-mate.  However, all kidding aside, I think you will see good old Tom go crazy by mid-September without Becki, as my work-wife does make my work life easier and pretty darn pleasant.  So I warn you all – be extra nice to me during this time.  It is only 5 months away, but I know it will be here before you know it.

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