Patient Zero Revealed Tom Whittaker

Today, I sent the following email to the company:

From: Tom Whittaker
Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:09 AM
To: Indigio Denver
Subject: Flu

All – We seem to have a pretty bad flu that has been spreading across Indigio over the past few weeks. I can trace it back to patient zero, but I will not give that staff members name in order to protect him/her from abuse (which is really not like me). As a reminder, if you are sick, but able to work, please feel free to work from home…just let your Supervisor know. I would rather everyone stay home and get better than keep the virus going. Thanks.

Now the email is not that interesting. We really have had a string of the flu recently that seems to be taking down Indigans one by one. The funny part is that in response to that email, I received seven, yes seven, emails from Indigans asking the following:

• It wasn’t me was it? I had strep awhile ago.
• Umm…is this referring to me?
• OMG. Am I patient zero?
• Is it me?
• Am I patient 0?
• Was this about me?
• Who is it? I bet I know.

Okay, I personally find it very funny that 20% of Indigio thinks they are the cause of spreading our recent flu. I also find it funny that we have a lot of guilty and paranoid Indigians.

So, let end the rumors and put this to bed, I will let you all know that patient zero is the guy who fills our soda machine. Yes, the truth has been revealed. Rumor has it he licks all the soda can lids and waters before he puts them in the vending machine. Okay, are you happy now? You all know. Let the truth set us free.  Please enjoy the $0.25 sodas.

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